Trying to Find Myself
by iPod Junkie
Summary: What would have happened if at the end of Twilight when Bella was attacked by James Edward was unable to suck the venom out of her hand? My first ff. R&R! NOW COMPLETED!
1. Chapter 1

**AN/ Thanks to all you people who added this story to your story alerts, and who submitted reviews. I love you guys! 3**

The only thing I remember about being bitten was sheer pain and agony. My hand felt like it was on fire and I kept screaming for someone to put the fire out. The screaming didn't last very long. I soon began to feel as if my entire body was on fire and the pain was so great that I was soon unable to scream. I tried to close my eyes but it did nothing to block the pain.

After opening my eyes I tried to find Edwards face, and he was holding me. His topaz eyes were filled with sorrow, and although I tried to keep my eyes open, then pain closed my eyes once more.

"It's too late," I heard Carlisle whisper to Edward, although I had no idea what he was talking about. "Maybe we should-"

Whatever Carlisle had been planning to say was cut short by a quiet snarl from Edward, but I thought nothing about it.

I tried to look at Edward but the pain defeated me once again. I heard a scream, but soon realized it was me. I knew I was in Edward's arms, but that thought was not able to stop the pain, even for a second. I fought to open my eyes, but when I succeeded it just made me want to close them again.

There was blood all over the floor and Edward's shirt. It took me a second to realize that that was _my_ blood. I tried to catch my breath but almost passed out from the effort of it.

I tried to stay conscious but the pain just increased every time I tried not to blink. Again, I forgot that I wasn't breathing, but every breath I tried to take just came out as a pained gasp.

"We need to get her out of here." Carlisle whispered to Edward.

"How?" Edward asked. His eyes locked with mine but I was forced to close them as a new wave of pain shook my body. "We can't exactly board a plane like this. I think that they might become a little suspicious."

Carlisle was silent for a moment, trying to find the right words. "If we could find some place as a shelter I think I might be able to help Bella. But we'd have to stay here until her transformation is complete."

"How are we going to explain this?' Edward whispered angrily. "What do you think Charlie is going to say when he learns that his daughter is a…"

"We will find something to tell them." Carlisle promised calmly.

I listened as well as someone can when their entire body feels like its on fire, but it took a second for the truth to sink in.

Several seconds later (which was pure agony to me) Edward gently picked me up in his arms and stood to face Carlisle. "What kind of shelter are you looking for?"

"Well with you it was an abandoned building, with Esme it was a room in the hospital, with Emmett it was in the forest, and that's all I can think of right now. But staying here is out of the question. Anyone at any time could just walk in and discover us."

"Didn't you remember seeing a rundown building less than a mile from here? It looked to me like it hasn't been inhabited for several years. Do you think it might be of any use?"

Carlisle looked at Edward while I tried to keep breathing slowly and not hyperventilate. The burning feeling had thankfully stopped, but now I was feeling that pins and needles thing you get in you feet when they fall asleep. But this was pins and needles to the extreme.

"Yes," Carlisle finally answered. "I think it might. If we run we might be able to reach it in a few minutes."

Edward adjusted my body so that he would be able to run and carry me at the same time. Right before I lost consciousness to the pain I heard Edward whisper into my ear, "Everything will be alright, Bella. I promise."


	2. Chapter 2

**An: A great big Thank You to all the lovely people who reviewed. You have no idea how much they mean to me. My teacher confiscated this chapter when I was writing in Algebra. **

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight, any of the characters, or vampires. The only thing I DO own is this computer.**

The journey to the run down building Edward had noticed didn't take as long as I had expected. Thankfully, night had fallen while I was being tortured by James and Edward's speed allowed us to reach the building in less than three minutes.

I realized on the way to the building that the pain had greatly decreased while I was in Edward's arms, and I'm pretty sure Edward noticed as well. Even with the pain gone, I was still pretty weak, but being tortured by a vampire and being rescued by your prince charming does that to you.

When we had arrived at the building Carlisle had to inspect it first.

"Are you two going to be alright here?" he asked gazing inquisitively at me in Edward's arms.

"Yes, but where are you going? I thought you were staying here." Edward asked, looking confused.

"I can't," Carlisle explained, "I have to go back to Fork's. I need to speak to Alice and the rest of them to…" His voice trailed off and I knew what he was talking about when he stole a glance at me again.

"Then we will be fine. I know what to do." Edward said quietly. "We'll see you in four days." Carlisle nodded to Edward and then left.

Edward slowly sank to the floor and sat down with me in his arms and held me close. He was silent for a moment then suddenly pressed his lips to mine.

"I'm sorry, Bella," he said, his voice shaking. "This is my fault. It's my fault that you're-that you're turning into-what…I…am. I'm sorry that I couldn't-that I'm not-I am a monster. It's my fault that you're turning into a…"

"Edward, this isn't your fault." My voice was very quiet, and he had to lean in to hear me. "It's my fault. I immediately believed him when he told me that he had captured my mother. The fact that I'm so gullible is the reason we're both here. It isn't your fault, and you shouldn't take responsibility for this. It's my fault. Please don't blame yourself for my mistakes." I stopped talking for a second so I could try to catch my breath.

Edward just listened to my breathing for a second and was about to say something until I screamed.

The pain was back, and it was ten times worse. I was writhing from the pain in Edward's arms but it decreased after a few minutes.

"James deserves death for what he did to you." I heard Edward whisper in my ear. "I promise you, I will kill him. That's a promise."

Edward stopped talking and just listened to my heavy breathing as I tried to take in our surroundings.

There wasn't anything interesting about our surroundings, and the only thing I could see in the gloom was the dark walls surrounding us, and the outline of Edward's face. I had to close my eyes as a new wave of pain traveled down my body. I then remembered why it was just Edward and me here.

"Why did Carlisle need to go back to Fork's?" I asked, hoping to interrupt the silence that was threatening to suffocate me.

"He needed to speak to the others about what to do with you. He wants you to join our family, but I don't know what the others think yet." He sighed.

"I feel bad now." I said, laughing. Bad idea. The laughter just made my body hurt even worse than it already did.

"Don't. We can't exactly just abandon you. And I think everyone will welcome you with open arms. Alice might overdo it, though." He frowned in the darkness. He looked back at me and said, "Sleep while you can. It will be your last though."

I nodded at what he said, and soon fell asleep. Tomorrow, I think I heard him say, that's when the pain will really begin.


	3. Chapter 3

**AN: ok. Bought a notebook, wrote more today in class. I'm going to try to make these chapters a bit longer from now on. And I do not own Twilight, but I LUV the series. Enjoy!**

**Inspiration song: The Takeover the Break's Over by Fall Out Boy**

** If you want to write something without getting it confiscated, write it in a notebook, or at least have a notebook near by so you can pretend to be taking notes. Like what Edward did in **_**Eclipse**_

The next day my strength had completely returned and I felt…different. Not different as in new clothes different, but different as in oh-my-god-I'm-turning-into-a-vampire different. I noticed when I stood up that my legs had even healed from where James had broken them.

Now that there was actual light I was able to get a better picture of my surroundings. I was in a one room building that was just walls with one small window on the other side of the room. But I soon lost interest in the room when I saw who was _under_ the window. Edward saw me looking at him, so he walked over and hugged me.

"How do you like your eyesight?" he asked. I looked up at him expecting to see his liquid topaz eyes but instead I saw eyes that were almost black. The sight of Edward's eyes made me immediately forget whatever I was going to say.

"You need to hunt," was all that I could think of to say. Edward just smiled and kissed me.

"I'm going to wait until your transformation is complete so I can teach you to hunt myself. Not that I don't trust the others, but this is something I want to do myself. So you can look forward to me being patient for once. Someone's going to have to teach you to hunt, and I'd be happier if I could do it."

I completely forgot what I was thinking because I received yet another wave of pain. The only thing that was different was that this time the pain started at my head and moved down my body. I tried not to let the pain show on my face and I hoped I succeeded in doing that.

It came to a point where I couldn't handle the pain anymore, so I sat against the wall with my head in my hands. Thankfully, the pain soon stopped and I was suddenly aware of Edward sitting next to me with his arm around my shoulders.

"-okay Bella?" he seemed to be saying. I took almost a minute for me to realize who he was talking to.

"What?"

"Are you okay, Bella? You just dropped to the floor. Is everything all right?" Edward's beautiful face was full of worry.

"I'm fine. Don't worry." Edward's face still didn't lose that look of worry. "So, what were you saying about hunting?" I wanted to get onto a completely different subject, but this was the only subject Edward would probably not consider odd for me to ask.

"I was saying that if one of us is going to have to teach you to hunt, I'd prefer to do it. I don't trust Emmett to teach you anything, Jasper probably won't trust himself teaching a young vampire to hunt, Alice…is Alice, and Rosalie…doesn't…really…like…you."

I didn't quite know what to say to that. Edward probably thought my silence meant that I had taken offense to what he told me, for he almost immediately said, "But Rosalie doesn't like anyone, so that's not something to worry about."

"Is that what Carlisle meant when he asked you if you knew what to do?" I said after a few seconds of awkward silence. "You teaching me to hunt?"

"You remembered that? I thought you were unconscious."

"I wasn't. I was in pain, but I wasn't unconscious." Even as I spoke I could remember the pain I was in. Either that or I really was feeling the pain.

"Yes. That is exactly what he meant." Edward sighed. "I wonder if they will welcome you."

"Welcome me?"

"Well, we can't exactly leave you in phoenix, can we? We're not like that. Alice will be jumping up and down about it, and everyone else will probably not even notice." Suddenly, Edward jumped about a foot.

"What are we going to tell your dad?"

Edward had asked a difficult question. "I don't know, but I could still live with him, and then go hunting with you on the weekends. I don't think he'll notice."

"That's not what I was talking about. I was talking about when you show up in Fork's almost a week after you tell him that you hate Fork's and how you're never coming back." Edward looked almost scary while he spoke. I realized that he was deeply concerned about this subject.

I was about to say something about Charlie when I was once again doubled over in pain. Edward pulled me closer to him and whispered in my ear, "James deserves death for what he did to you." I immediately sat up.

"In the words of J. R. R. Tolkien, 'many that live deserve death, yet many that die deserve life, but can we give it to them?'." I said, slightly angry at what Edward had said. But its impossible to stay angry at Edward for any length of time.

"You believe that, but I will kill him. Moving on to a better subject, what were you about to say? I could see you wanted to say something, so what was it?"

"We can say that you, being the gentleman, went after me and convinced me to stay."

"And when he comments your eyes?"

"I'll tell him my eyes change colors. Other than that, he's not really going to notice anything. And if he does, he isn't going to mention it. Charlie really isn't the type of person who would accuse someone of changing. People change and he knows it."

"I hope you're right about Charlie."

"So do I," I said, leaning against Edward. "So do I."


	4. Chapter 4

**AN: A great big thank you to the people who reviewed! I will always need critiquing. Sorry it took so long. I was having writer's block. R&R ENJOY!**

**And after all the its from Edward's point of view.**

**Disclaimer: Well, if I have to write a disclaimer, than obviously I do not own whatever I am writing about.**

That night I learned to hunt. After many, many hours of fierce pain, pain that seemed to inexplicably intensify whenever Edward happened to look at me, he finally decided that my transformation was complete.

He took my hand and led me out of the building, and I noticed several things at once. First, tonight was a full moon and I was reminded of all the werewolf stories I used to read when I as younger. Second, we were in the middle of nowhere and that made me feel very alone, despite the fact that Edward was right beside me. Third and most importantly, I could smell.

It was like I was smelling for the first time in my life (existence?). It was amazing what I could smell. I could smell something doggish, probably coyotes. I could smell someone barbequing. Finally, I found this peculiar scent that I could not identify, but I felt excited because of it.

"What do you smell?" Edward asked me, not looking at me, but at the ground.

"Coyotes, someone barbequing, and...something else. I don't know what it is." I replied.

Edward looked up at, his eyes blazing. "You're smelling blood." He looked terrifying, and I realized that this was the first time I had ever been the slightest afraid of him. I was terrified. I actually took a step back from him, and I prayed he wouldn't notice.

"Does the scent of blood excite you?" he asked. This was truly a question I found hard to answer. I locked my eyes onto his before I answered.

"Is it supposed to?"

"Yes. This will be easier than I thought."

"Why?"

"I won't need to teach you to recognize the smell of blood." He laughed. "You look like you can't wait for me to let you go. I just hope that you will not lose control."

"I won't." I didn't want to disappoint him. I think if I did it would break his heart. He looked likehe wanted to say something, but the wind had changed direction and I could smell the coyotes, only much stronger now.

Edward could apparently smell the coyotes as well and looked back at me, his face unreadable as always.

"Let's see you hunt." he said, and like a bullet, I shot off.

One hour after I sent Bella off to go hunt for the first time, she came back looking very proud of herself. I still couldn'tbelieve that James had turned Bella, my Bella, into a monster.

No I thought to myself. Bella will never be a monster. How can I think that? I couldn't help but remember Alice's prediction that Bella would be responsible for more human deaths than the rest of us put together. The thought made me anxious, not that I hadn't been anxious all night.

I was so anxious and nervous while hunting that I was too slow and the damn coyote took a bite out of me. It wasn't even worth the trouble I went through to seclude it from its pack. I'd rather have waited and starved until Carlisle came for us. Coyotes are just skin and bones with absolutely no blood at all.

Bella noticed me looking preoccupied and walked over to me. She was smiling, and I couldn't help but to notice her sharp teeth as she grinned at me.

"How was it?" she asked me, still smiling. Her brunette hair was flowing behind her and her eyes were the color of caramel.

I shook myself back into the real world and answered her question.

"I am never going after coyotes again. How did you find them anywhere near edible?"

"You went after the coyotes?"

"Well I couldn't exactly eat someone's dog. Please tell me that's not what you did."

"I didn't eat anyone's dog, I gorged myself on rabbits."

My jaw dropped, and for several seconds I could not speak.

"Is there something wrong with that?"

"Where did you find rabbits?"

"Underground."

Again, I was speechless. It appears that Bella is naturally a good hunter. She might even put Emmett to shame. I'm sure Rosalie would love that.

"Wow. I didn't know that you could get so creative with hunting. Did they taste good?"

"I don't know what tastes good and what doesn't. It was better than steak."

I laughed and suggested we go back to the buildingbefore anyone spots us. Bella agreed, and we walked back to the building hand in hand.


	5. Chapter 5

**AN: I'm a little depressed. 524 hits and only 6 reviews? If you people really want another chapter, then review! If you think this story sucks big-time, then tell me! If you think this story rocks, then tell me! If you like something or hate something, then tell me! Thank you for listening to my rant. BTW, my friend told me that I'm depriving you of long chapters, so I'm going to try to write some longer ones. Bella's POV!**

After one week after being attacked and bitten by James, I finally returned home to Forks. Carlisle returned to Phoenix to retrieve Edward and I, and we flew home on the Delta Airlines.

It was a quiet flight and no one seemed willing to break the silence until after we arrived in Seattle. It was the exact same story on the way to Forks. By then it was fairly late so we drove to Edward's house and we didn't stay very long. We just told the rest of the Cullens what had happened in Phoenix and we left again.

While Edward drove me to my house he decided to try to break the painful silence in hopes that we would start talking again.

"What are you planning to say to Charlie about your disappearing without a trace for more than a week?" he asked me.

"I was thinking about telling him that I flew to Phoenix, remembered that Renee was with Phil in Florida, and flew there." I said thoughtfully. "You came after me and convinced me to return to Forks. There was a thunderstorm in Florida and we stayed at the airport for two days. We then flew back to Arizona and had to stay there for another day. We then flew all day and here we are."

"That's a good idea." Edward said after several seconds. "But if the same happened on your way to Florida, then we still have two days to explain."

"I stayed at my house for two days." I said quietly. "There's a key under the doormat. He'll believe that."

"I hope you're right." We pulled up in front of my house, but the lights weren't on. Edward looked at me, and I could see the pain in his face.

"I have something I want to ask you," he said, his voice barely a whisper, "but I don't think this is the right time. I think I should wait for…"

"Wait for what?" I asked. The pained look on Edward's face terrified me. He looked like what ever he wanted to ask was killing him. He opened the driver-side door and stepped out, and I followed suit.

He walked over to me, and grabbed me in an embrace that would have killed me if I was still human. I was very scared and I hugged him back just as tightly.

Almost a minute later we separated and Edward grabbed my hand and squeezed for a second. Then he let go and started walking towards my front door. I followed him, nervous about his sudden release of emotion.

"Leave your window open. I'll come in and try to ask you what I'm really trying to." He kissed me softly. "I love you" he whispered.

I was overjoyed and kissed him back. "I love you, too." I then felt a sharp stab of pain over where my heart used to be. I winced and Edward looked very confused.

"I'll tell you when you come in." I promised and walked into my front door. There I was greeted by darkness and silence.

I walked into the kitchen and was surprised to see a light turn on and my father stare at me like I was a ghost. I have to admit I was a little hurt. I mean, I know I probably looked different, but I was hoping that my father wouldn't notice that much.

"Hi Dad," I said nervously. "How have you been?"

My father just stared at me which didn't really help my nervousness all too well.

"Bella," he finally said, "I thought you went to Florida. What happened?" As I struggled to remember the story I told Edward that I would tell my dad I felt another sharp twinge of pain. I made a mental note to talk to Edward about that tonight.

"Edward came after me and convinced me to come back to Forks." I stated monotonously while trying not wince from the pain I was mysteriously experiencing.

Charlie walked over and hugged me. "I'm so happy you came back." he said. "Life here has been pretty quiet without you. What did Edward say that made you decide to come back?"

This question caught me by surprise. I didn't know how to answer. I thought about Edward and tried to remember what it was about him I loved.

"He said that I leaving would hurt you," I said slowly and felt another sharp wave of pain. "He said that I leaving would hurt my friends. He also said that…" That was going too far. I couldn't tell my father _that_. It would make him furious.

"He told you what?" he asked. "What did that boy tell you?" My father's tone terrified me. For the first time in my life I was terrified of my father.

To an outsider, this probably sounds really funny. Me, a big, scary, strong, dangerous vampire terrified of my human father. But this was in no way, shape, or form funny.

"Nothing" I said, quietly. "That's all he said."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes"

This made Charlie smile. He hugged me once again and said "Why don't you get some sleep, kiddo? You look like you need it." I reluctantly agreed, and walked up the stairs and into my bedroom.

Right before closing and locking my door, I opened my window as far as it would go. I then walked over to my bad, and collapsed onto it. The only thing I have to do now, I thought to myself, is wait for Edward.

AN: Please read and review! I have another chapter already written and waiting for me to upload!


	6. Chapter 6

**AN: I'm not okay (I promise), Helena, You know what they do to guys like us in prison, hang 'em high, and the ghost of you. Need I say more?**

I waited for probably less than three minutes when Edward came into my bedroom from the window. For some reason it started to seem romantic, like something out of _Romeo and Juliet_.

I stood up and walked over to Edward. He hugged me and we both sat down on the floor by the window. He looked so ecstatic it made me forget what I was going to talk to him about.

"How was talking to your dad?" He asked while putting his arm around me. That question brought me back down to Earth with a bang.

"It was…alright," I said, "it could have been better." Even though it was dark I could see the smile slip off of Edward's face. "But he believed me! That's the important thing, right?"

I was nervous at what Edward would say to that. I could feel him tense up next to me and my nervousness rose to a new level.

"Did he ask you any questions?"

"…yes"

"What did he ask you?"

"He wanted to know what made me come back and what you said that made me come back. But when I was answering his second question…" My voice trailed off and I suddenly felt afraid to tell Edward what had happened. I just stared into his eyes for what felt like the longest time.

"What happened?" I don't know if I was hearing things or not, because I heard fear in Edward's voice and I felt the pain again.

"I told him that you said that I leaving would hurt him, and…I felt this…pain. I don't really know what…it is. And when you asked me what happened…I felt…it again."

Edward was silent and for a second I was afraid he thought I was a freak. I stole a glance at his face in the dark, but his face revealed no emotion.

"I think this is something we should talk to Carlisle about." He said after a moment's silence. "Maybe Jasper, too."

"Jasper?"

"He could have a good theory for this, as well as Carlisle. But we should talk to as many…of us as possible."

This didn't really help me at all. "Do you have any theory about this?" I asked him. Once again I felt the sharp stab of pain and winced.

Edward apparently didn't notice that. "Yes, but its stupid. It's not even a logical theory. It's just a guess."

"What do you think it is?"

"I think you can feel it when people around you feel pain. Like I said before, it's stupid." Edward didn't say anything after that; he just pulled me closer to him.

I thought about what Edward had said. It was a good theory, but he was right about us needing to talk to Carlisle about it before we jump to any conclusions.

"You're right," I said, "about how we should talk to Carlisle. Why do you think your theory is stupid?"

Edward laughed. "It doesn't make any sense. It's not rational." He laughed again. "It's probably just from your transformation."

I don't know why, but I started to laugh along with Edward. It felt good to sit with Edward in my room and laugh. I hadn't really laughed since the baseball game with Edward's family.

He suddenly stopped laughing and stood up. "We need to talk to Carlisle now." His voice had no trace of the laughter that existed less than a minute ago. It was completely sober, but it also sounded a little worried as well.

I stood up almost immediately after hearing Edward's tone of voice. It scared me and I knew something had happened.

Edward crawled out of the window, jumped, and landed cat-like on the ground below. He motioned for me to follow, and I nervously crawled out the window and jumped. Thankfully, he caught and set me down.

"Let's see fast you can run," he said and took off with me closely following.

**AN: Sorry for the cliffy and the super short chapter, but my mom's home and I'm kinda not supposed to be on the computer without my homework being done. If I live, then I'll write and post another chapter sometime today.**


	7. Chapter 7

**AN: I am sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo(I think you get the point) sorry that I didn't update for like forever. I can't say why, but I leave you with this advice: myspace, bad. And sorry that its soooooo short, but I'm grounded until next Monday. **

**Ps: Do any of you watch Moonlight?? It would be cool if ff added that to categories for tv shows. **

We soon arrived at Edward's house in less than ten minutes. I'll have to admit that I was a little nervous at why Edward suddenly needed to desperately speak to Carlisle and Jasper, but the only thing I could do was wait and find out for myself.

Edward opened the door and motioned for me to venture inside. There wasn't anyone in the living room except for Alice and Rosalie, who were quietly discussing something. Alice looked over Rosalie's shoulder and waved at Edward and I.

"Hi Edward! Hi Bella!" Alice said cheerfully. "What's up?"

"Do you know where Jasper and Carlisle are?" Edward asked quietly, as if he didn't want anyone to hear him.

"Carlisle is in the other room," Rosalie answered monotonously. She flipped her blonde hair behind her shoulders and glared at Edward.

"And Jasper?" Edward asked, not at all troubled by Rosalie's death look.

"I don't know for sure," Alice began, "but he said he was going to take a walk because he was getting an emotional headache."

"Do you know when he'll be back?"

"Soon. He said he was only going to be gone for about two hours." Alice laughed. "For once I actually feel sorry for him."

"Thanks." Edward motioned for me to follow him and we walked over to the room Rosalie said Carlisle was in.

Right before we reached the doorway of the room, I stopped Edward.

"Why did you need to see Jasper and Carlisle all of a sudden? And why did you need to bring me with you?" I whispered, slightly annoyed that he had left me in the dark.

Edward just stared at me for several seconds. At once I forgot to breathe.

"Breathe," he told me, "and I'm hurt that you didn't pay any attention to our conversation. And by the way," he said, noticing me breathing again, "you don't have to breathe, but I think you like your sense of smell." He smiled and walked inside the room.

I was very confused, but I followed him.


	8. Chapter 8

**AN: I am sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo sorry I haven't updated in like, forever!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I haven't been getting many ideas. Maybe some reviews would get my creative juices flowing. (hint hint) Let me know what you think of this chappie, and I'll get another one up ASAP! **

**PS. If I don't update before Thanksgiving, I hope all of you people have a happy Thanksgiving with no fights and thankfulness and turkey and family and cooking and pie and well you get the point. **

Two hours later I found myself trying to climb up the side of my house and into my bedroom. It was easier said than done.

First of all, I could not make any noise whatsoever. Charlie was probably asleep like any other human and I did not want to explain to Forks' only police officer why I am climbing into my window at 3 o'clock in the morning, especially considering the fact that I just mysteriously reappeared after two weeks of being in Phoenix.

Second, it was raining. And raining makes _everything _easier, especially when you're trying to climb into your bedroom window.

Finally, I could not see how Edward was able to do this not only quickly, but almost every night. And every time I fell down he asked if I needed any help.

After falling down for the third time, I stood up and walked over to the tree Edward was sheltered under. He just smirked.

"Do you want me to show you how to climb into your window?" he asked. I just nodded. Edward laughed and gestured to the tree. "It's a lot easier when you use the tree to climb."

I grimaced. "You could have told me that in the first place but instead you left me thinking that you miraculously climbed into my room through sleet and snow."

"Do you want me to show you or not?"

I grimaced. "What do you think?"

Edward laughed, and gestured to the tree. "I sincerely hope you know how to climb a tree," he said, "because if you don't, I don't know how to teach you."

"Believe it or not, I do know how to climb a tree." I was seriously offended that Edward thought I did not know how to climb trees.

He smiled and scrambled up the tree faster than I would have expected. When he reached the top of the tree, he jumped and somehow went through my window. I was surprised.

I knew Edward could climb well, or assumed. But I didn't think he could do it _that_ fast. I was about to say that to him, when he jumped out my window and landed in front of me. I felt nervous, but he just smiled.

"Now you try" he said. I didn't say anything, but closed my eyes and proceeded to climb the tree.

I climbed for probably several seconds when I put my hand up and didn't feel tree anymore. I opened my eyes, and realized I was staring at the raining sky.

_I climbed a tree! I actually climbed a tree!_

I looked down, and realized what a _long_ way down it was. It felt like I was standing on the Empire State building, but in reality I knew that the tree was only fifteen feet tall.

I looked towards Edward and he was just standing there giving me an odd look. I returned the look and looked to my open window.

I held my breath, closed my eyes, and jumped. I flew for probably about five seconds, and then received a face full or carpet.

I quickly stood up, and then ran to my window to see if Edward was still out there. He was out there, and he was laughing. He noticed me looking at him and stopped laughing, but he was still smirking.

"Very graceful," he said, "I'd think that vampirism would make you a little less clumsy and a little more balanced."

I couldn't help but smile at that. It was so true.

"Are you coming up?" I asked. As much as I love Edward, I was kind of hoping he would say no. I needed a little time to think about what Jasper and Carlisle said.

Edward was quiet for a second; he was probably pondering.

"No. I need to get back home. I feel bad about not telling anyone but Carlisle and Jasper. The rest of the family deserves to hear the news. I hope I'm not disappointing you." He sounded sad when he said the last sentence.

"Don't worry." I said. "You're not. You're right about telling them. I'll see you tomorrow." Edward smiled at me and started to walk away.

"Wait!" I called after him. He turned around to look at me.

"What day is it?"

"3:21 A.M., Monday morning," he said, "so technically, I'll see you in three and a half hours."

I smiled back at him. "See you then!" and he took off running.

I sighed with relief and closed my window. I walked over to my bed where my alarm clock now read 3:22 A.M. I sighed again and flopped onto my bed.

_What am I going to do for three and a half hours?_

Then I remembered Edward's and mine conversation with Carlisle and Jasper. Memories of it began to fill my mind.

Edward had asked Carlisle if it was possible for a vampire to feel anyone's mental and physical pain. This had confused me because Edward had called this idea stupid and unrealistic.

Carlisle did not have an answer for Edward's question; he had been silent for almost a minute before he had said anything.

Carlisle had said he couldn't answer that. He said maybe we should talk to Jasper about that.

We walked back to the living room and found Alice and Jasper arguing about something. We later heard from Rosalie that Jasper had been out hunting and Alice saw something and it worried her. She also said that Alice wouldn't tell her what she had seen.

Alice disappeared soon after Edward and I appeared in the living room, and the only thing Jasper had said to answer Edward's question was that almost anything was possible in the world of vampirism.

Jasper's and Alice's argument obviously worried Edward, which is why he wanted to hurry back to the house.

It obviously had to have been something bad Alice had seen for her to argue with Jasper that strongly.

I tried to think of something Alice could have seen that would cause her to argue with Jasper, but I could not think of anything.

I stood up and walked over to my bookshelf and picked up a book that was lying on top of the books and flopped back down on my bed before reading the title.

_Wuthering Heights._


	9. Chapter 9

**AN: So happy. I love all you people who reviewed and added me to your lists. And I kept my Thanksgiving promise. Here's the chapter. THANK YOU! R&R**

I didn't get very far into _Wuthering Heights _before I was disturbed by a knock at my window. I sighed, put the book down and started walking towards the window to let Edward in.

I reached out to unlock my window, and received a shock when I saw Alice outside my window. I froze.

She was obviously shouting something at me, and when I realized that, I didn't hesitate in opening the window for her.

In came Alice, rain and all. When she set foot on the ground she almost collapsed. I was really freaked out about all of this.

"Alice, what happened? What's wrong?" I was asking while helping her up. "Is everything all right?" And that last question really set her off.

"Is everything all right? Is everything all right? You completely disappeared at the airport, you go off to meet some insane vampire completely intent on torturing you to death, and now Edward and Carlisle are trying to tell the rest of us that you are a vampire.

When you and Edward showed up, Rosalie and I were thinking that you were just asking that question out of plain curiosity. Worst of all, he left you totally unsupervised in a house with a human full of blood."

I was a little shocked about this rant, especially considering the fact it was coming from Alice. I was kind of afraid she was going to attack.

Alice ignored my silence and continued on her lecture. "Edward—"

"Knows what he's doing, believe it or not. He's not exactly stupid." I interrupted. I was really pissed that Alice was going off on Edward for all of this. Alice was silent.

"You're right," she finally whispered, "but I still don't know what he was thinking."

"Maybe he trusted me."

"You're probably right. I wonder why, though." We were both quiet.

Alice was right about one thing. Why did Edward leave me in a house with a human? Maybe he wanted to see if I would kill Charlie, or let him live. That could be true.

I winced as a sudden wave of pain swept over me. If Edward's theory was true, then someone near me must be hurting, either physically, or emotionally.

"When Edward told me you had become a vampire, I didn't believe it." Alice said, breaking the silence.

I looked up at her. "Why?"

"You don't look like a vampire. Your teeth look, very sharp, but that's about it. You look exactly the same, even your eyes are exactly the same. Edward even said you still fall the same way you used to." She laughed.

"He seriously said that?"

"Yes." And the beautiful silence took over again.

"Do you want to come back to the house? Time passes a lot more quickly there than here."

"Thanks, but no thanks. I have stuff to do here."

"Like explain to Charlie why you miraculously showed up in Forks after saying you were leaving and never coming back." I nodded. "Well, good luck with that," Alice said, and with that, jumped back out my window and into the rain.

I closed the window, locked it, flopped back onto my bed, and picked up _Wuthering Heights_, but not before taking a look at my alarm clock.

3:46 A.M.

This night is never going to end.


	10. Chapter 10

**AN: 56 reviews! I am soooooo happy!!!! Did anyone see Chuck Monday night? It was so sad! Why did they have take Bryce away? Now Chuck is the only hot guy on that show. And the reason neither of them died is because hot guys don't die. Edward is a perfect example of that. And I'm sorry if this chapter sucks, but I CANNOT write fluff. I'm sorry, but it's the sad truth. Whatever. R&R**

I had read most of _Wuthering Heights _when my alarm clock went off, giving me a major heart attack. I jumped off of my bed, and tried to remember where it was.

I finally located it, and was about to slap the snooze when I remembered _why _I had been reading in the first place. I then set about finding the off button, and heard the door slam as my dad left for work, but not before clutching my heart as pain surged throughout my entire body.

I found the off button, and collapsed on the floor, still in pain. After a couple seconds the pain subsided, and I stood up.

I didn't even think about the pain, but instead focused on searching for something to wear. I found the sweater I wore when Edward and I went on the hike, and kept looking.

Several seconds later, I came back to that sweater, took it out of the drawer, and stared at it. It seemed so long ago that we went on that hike. It had actually been a few days before I had met Edward's family.

I remembered how much I had enjoyed the hike with Edward, and meeting his family. Everything was perfect; nothing could ruin those moments.

My human life seemed so far away, like Atlanta after the war in _Gone with the Wind_. I realized that the only thing I will ever have left from that life is memories, and those memories will haunt me for the rest of my life.

I was interrupted from my thoughts by a hand on my shoulder. I turned around to see Edward looking worried, but still smiling.

"How was your night?" Edward asked, embracing me tightly. I kissed him before replying.

"I wish I had considered your offer. I haven't read that much at once in a long time." Edward laughed, released me, and stepped back. His face immediately turned sober, and I felt a faint wave of pain wash over me.

"I came to apologize," Edward said, "I've completely shoved you into my world. I know I wasn't the one who…bit you," he said noticing me raise my eyebrows, "but I think I should have introduced you differently. I think I should have waited a little longer. I rushed you into all of this. If I had waited--"

"This would have happened anyways." I said angrily. I was not about to let Edward take the blame for what happened. It was _my_ fault. "It was inevitable."

"It could have been avoided."

"It could have been avoided if I had checked my mother's whereabouts before jumping on the plane." I said. "I don't want you to think that it was wrong of you to introduce me to your family. I don't think you were wrong for me to get to know your family."

Edward didn't say anything to me, so I walked over to him and hugged him; I regretted saying what I had said to him. He wrapped one arm around the back of my head, and the other around my back.

"I'm sorry" I whispered.

"Don't be," he murmured, "you're right."

**AN: awwwwwwww! So cute. Sorry if the fluff sucks, but I'm not an emotional person on paper. It made better sense in my head. And sorry that it's kinda short, but it's me, and I can't write long chapters. Be happy that I'm never going to turn around and show up with a chapter with 25,000 words. **

**PS: **_**everything we had, everything we had, everything we had, everything we had, is no longer there…**_


	11. Chapter 11

**AN: This is going to be a bit of a shock to some of you, but this is my last chapter. I'm really really sorry, but I've been having a hard time with this story. BUT, if you people really want me to, I'll try to write a sequel to this story. BUT, I'm going to need AT LEAST seven people asking for a sequel for me to do a sequel. If that doesn't happen, well, that's the way the ball bounces. BPOV**

After school Edward dropped me off at my house with the promise that he would be back in an hour.

I dug my key out of my purse and walked into my empty house with the events of that day running through my head.

I couldn't believe how they could handle it. The smell of blood was so overwhelming, I almost attacked someone. The only thing I could be thankful for was Edward happened to be there with me.

I stood up and walked up the stairs to my room while thinking to myself _I can't handle this_. I opened the door to my room and started digging through my desk for paper and a pen.

I found what I was looking for and started scribbling a note to Edward. _I'm going to have to learn to endure blood myself _I thought as I wrote. _I can have Edward leaning over me all the time. I'm going to have to do this on my own._

And the only way I could do that, I had realized, was to leave. I folded the note and jumped out my window, landing gracefully on the grass, and then tripping as I ran to the front door.

_Please forgive me_ I thought as I dropped the note on my doormat, and then started running.

**EPOV**

_I'm sorry. Immunity to human blood isn't something you can help me achieve. This is something I'm going to need to build myself. I'm leaving so I can learn to ignore the scent of human blood. I'll be back soon. I promise. Don't come after me. You won't find me, because I'll be trying to find myself in the world of vampires, and I don't know where that will take me. I'll return, but not until I am ready. I'm sorry. Please forgive me. I love you. _

I could not believe what I was reading. Bella was gone, gone to build immunity to human blood. I could not believe it.

On her own in the world of vampires, she wouldn't last a week with the Volturi. They'd find her, and kill her.

I stood up and walked back to my car, where Alice was waiting. I opened the door and slid into my seat without saying a word.

"She's gone" I said quietly to Alice. I still could not believe what I had read.

"She'll come back" Alice said almost immediately.

I looked up at Alice, almost angry at her optimism. "It's a big world. Not everyone can survive. Especially with the Volturi running it."

Alice returned my cold gaze. "Not everyone can survive, but Bella will."

I started thinking maybe Alice had seen something, but if she had she would've told me. I tried to get into her mind, but, nothing.

"We should go back home to tell Esme and Carlisle" Alice suggested, and I nodded.

Maybe Bella would survive, and maybe she would return.

**AN: I'm going to quote Bella on this: please forgive me!!!! If you liked it and you want a sequel, you're going to have to do your part and tell me what you thought, and then if you want a sequel. Seven people asking for a sequel, it won't be difficult for you guys! Thank you for reading!**

**iPodjunkie, OR Taylor**

**whichever you prefer 3**


	12. The Sequel Has Been Posted!

The sequel has been posted!!!!! It's name is A Promise Is A Promise. Read, and tell me what you think!!!!


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